Diagnosed "Infertile": My fertility journey.

Motherhood has always been my biggest dream. In first grade, when given the assignment "draw what you want to be when you grow up," I drew a mommy. At almost every age, I would buy and save things for my future children in a hope chest.

In high school, I had extremely painful periods. I went to a traditional doctor, was diagnosed with ovarian cysts and put on hormonal birth control. Eventually the pain got bad enough, and a cyst got large enough, that we decided to do a laparoscopy to remove it, and during that surgery I was diagnosed with endometriosis.

"The only treatment for endometriosis is birth control to manage cyst growth and painkillers to manage the pain," I was told. So as a young adult, not yet having been taught to trust the healing power and wisdom of my body, I listened. I was on the pill for over 10 years. Periods were excruciating. I dealt with extreme fatigue... falling asleep everywhere, even in public and on the road. It was my normal... "Brianne is a ton of fun, until she falls asleep." 

In my mid-20s, I finally rejected the idea that my experience was "normal" and I sought naturopathic help. I began thinking a lot more seriously about my health and my future. I had been with my partner Eric for about a year, and he was a man that I wanted a family with. I was tired of feeling tired all the time and wanted to increase my strength and vitality before becoming a mom.

At the same time, my intuition told me to check in on my fertility. I knew that endometriosis and prior surgeries could cause infertility, and my mother went through menopause at a really young age, around 36. I was 28 at the time and after researching, learned that AMH and FSH, hormones that could be measured in the blood, were reliable bio-indicators of reproductive health. My doctor fought me on it because I hadn't actually ever tried to conceive, but I insisted. I explained that if my numbers were good, I would know I could take my time, but that if they showed a low egg count, I could rearrange my plans and try to conceive, or consider freezing my eggs. 

My results came back with a devastating reality: AMH of 0.1 ng/ml and FSH of 28 mIU/ml.  Normal/healthy ranges were 2–6.8 ng/ml for AMH and 8 mIU/ml or lower for FSH. Translation: extremely low egg count, premenopausal.

I got two different opinions from Reproductive Endocrinologists and they both said it would likely not be possible for me to conceive naturally.

I got an ultrasound done for further testing, and where should have been 30-50 visible egg follicles in each ovary, were zero and three. 

Heartbroken, but determined to beat the odds, I committed myself like never before to health and fertility. I found support when it came to the physical aspects of fertility. I developed a holistic hormone balancing protocol with the help of my herbalist (which you can download here). I ate a clean Mediterranean diet, drank only spring and alkaline water, and took a variety of supplements to support egg quality. I avoided fertility-impacting toxins like BPAs, pesticides and heavy metals. I had regular chiropractic and  acupuncture treatments.

But finding support around the emotional, mental, spiritual and energetic aspects of fertility was not so easy. I traveled up to San Francisco to visit a traditional sobradora and energy worker, who specializes in Mayan abdomenal massage and supported me in connecting to the awareness of energy in my womb. I travelled to Mexico to sit with a shaman and was supported by ancient fertility allies from the jungle, Ayahuasca and Kambo. I "talked" to my body and womb, reminding her that after many years of being afraid to get pregnant, it was safe to do so now. I reminded her that she was born to conceive, born to grow life, born to birth. I continually felt and released the overwhelming fears and replaced them with divine power.  

It was a lot. But it worked. After two months of this, during our first month TTC, we were blessed with a miracle pregnancy. 

More on my pregnancy and birth story to come. 

And, if you are seeking support on your own fertility journey, book a Fertility session here. 

xx